Let Her Live Abortion Alternatives--Abstinence, Adoption, and Single Parenting Resources and Help

Some people say that abortion is the only way out of an unwanted pregnancy. But that's not true. You have loving options. While every situation is different, these three basic alternatives remain:

Abstinence - Don't get pregnant.
Adoption - Give my baby a better life.
Parenting - Keep my baby.

The choice that is best for you may depend on your circumstances.

Abstinence - Don't get pregnant.

If you are already pregnant, then it is obviously too late to use abstinence to avoid pregnancy. But it's not too late to avoid making the same mistake again.

The only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) is abstinence. But abstinence isn't just about preventing pregnancy. It's about love and respect. Every woman deserves a man's commitment to life-long love and faithfulness before she gives him sex. If a man doesn't respect you enough to commit to marriage before he asks for sex, he doesn't deserve any kind of relationship with you. He just wants your body.

If a guy only loves you when you give him sex, then he doesn't really love you. He just loves sex.

You can help the man in your life to give you real love and respect. Expect him to treat you with respect. Engage him with your mind, not your body. If you attract him to your personality and involve him in your interests, you may find a friend for life. But if you attract him by dressing and acting seductively, he will think of you as a sex object, not a friend. If you want to be loved for who you are, reveal your heart and mind, not your body.

If you care about pleasing God, you have to be sexually pure until marriage. Sex is a wonderful gift in marriage, but God says He will judge those who are sexually immoral. He will help you out of temptation, but you need to be willing to obey Him and get out of the tempting situation.

For more information or help with abstinence see one of the following sites.

True Love Waits has information for young people and their parents about sexual purity from a Christian perspective.

Get The Truth offers teen-friendly information and support to help you practice abstinence.

Great To Wait (G2W) helps young people say "no" to sex before marriage.

The Abstinence Clearing House is "an association for the abstinence community" offering many resources.

Pro-Knowledge empowers women of all ages with the knowledge and self-confidence they need.

Adoption - Give my baby a better life.

Perhaps you can't afford to care for a baby, are not qualified to raise a child, lack the family support that you would need, or simply don't want a baby. Maybe you are just too young.

Adoption could be the best choice for you and your baby. Your child deserves a chance at a good life. If you can't provide the loving family that your baby will thrive in, someone else can. This decision is about the beautiful life that you are bringing into the world, not about you.

Choosing to make an adoption plan won't be easy, but you will always have the comfort of knowing that you loved your baby enough to do the very best for him or her.

Thousands of couples are waiting to adopt. Some are infertile. Some have already raised children successfully and want to do it again. Others just want to help kids from difficult situations. Whatever the reason, adoptive parents want to offer a loving, caring family to your child.

Adoption has changed a lot in the last 30 years but many misconceptions about it still abound. Perhaps you believe one of these common myths about adoption. You may have thought any one of these at some point in time.

"What if my child wonders later on why I gave her up? Won’t she think I abandoned her?"

If you are not ready to raise a baby, making an adoption plan is the most loving choice you could make. It is the greatest test of your love that you could put the needs of your child above your own. When she is old enough to understand that, she will be glad that you chose not only to give her a chance at life but to give her a better life than she could have had otherwise.

"No one could ever love my child as much as I would. After all, I’m her mother!"
"I could never carry a baby for nine months and then give it up. I’d be too attached."

Your baby needs a stable and loving home, a father and a mother, and an environment that is not filled with violence or drug and alcohol use. Can you give that to her? "Love is an unconditional desire for another’s well being." Show true love to your baby.

"I’ll never know if I did the right thing. I’ll never get to see my baby again or know how she’s doing or anything about her."

If you choose an open adoption, you will be able to visit, call, and write to your child. Though you will not be raising the child, you can choose the people who do. The adoption agency will compile portfolios on the families wishing to adopt. You can interview them and ask any questions that are important to you.

"I don’t want my baby to know what kind of mother she had. I’d be too ashamed. I just want her to be loved by somebody but not know who I am."

If you wish to know how your child is doing but don’t want communication between the two of you, you can choose a semi-open adoption. Just like the open adoption, you can choose the family that your child is placed with. You will receive pictures and updates but you will not have to contact the child unless you choose to do so.

"I don’t want to be tied down with having to visit a child for the rest of my life. I have things I want to do. I just want to give her a good home and let her be happy there."

If you would prefer to put your child in a good home and then go on with your life, you can choose a closed adoption. In this type of adoption you can choose to not have contact with the child or the adoptive parents.

Adoption is a loving choice. Give your child the best chance for a good life that she could have.

Bethany Christian Services Adoption Agency, Courageous Choice, Adoption.com, and the Adoption Network Law Center are just a few of the groups that will connect you with assistance, housing, and a network of support, in addition to helping you through the adoption process.

Parenting - Keep my baby.

You may not feel completely ready to be a parent, but if you decide to accept the responsibility of raising your child, you want to do it well. A loving, stable marriage provides the best home environment for your baby. In fact, couples who live together are much more likely to break up and experience domestic violence than couples that marry.

If marrying the father of your child isn't a good option, you can raise your baby alone, especially if you have supportive family members to help you.

Being a good parent takes love, consistent discipline, and a commitment to spending time with your child. Children need rules and boundaries enforced firmly to keep a sense of stability. They also learn self-control as you provide structure and discipline. Whether you like it or not, you are your child's hero and role model, so you need to set a good example.

The girls at StandUpGirl will encourage you that you can keep your baby, as many of them have.

Focus on Your Child, a ministry of Focus on the Family, gives you many resources to help you raise your child.

No Greater Joy offers Bible-based counsel to help you develop Christian character in your child.